Forever After
by arctic draconis
Summary: There are no right words to say goodbye. [Warnings: implied shounen ai, FujiRyo, mild deathfic]


Author Notes: For some reason I woke up with this idea in mind one morning…Both characters are slightly OOC, but I was trying to portray them as more mature under a highly stressful situation where their responses wouldn't be their usual snarky and sadistic.

**Forever After **

Two people sat across the table from each other, their eyes sliding over each other, looking without really seeing.

They were isolated from the teaming mass of humanity that passed them by, the noise not registering on the silence that lay between them.

The air between them was too heavy with unforgiven pain and regrets to be intruded upon by everyday routine.

The silence seemed to grow greater with every passing moment.

It was a relief when the waitress stepped in, making them part of their surroundings as she rattled coffee cups in front of them.

But then she was gone, and only the silence remained.

The brunette cleared his throat, an obvious prompt for something to begin, yet he did not speak. Demanding something and yet asking nothing.

Thin wrists almost to the point of emaciation settled on the table.

"I don't know why we're here."

Blue eyes flickered open, momentarily filled with surprise, before eyelids closed to shield their thoughts once more.

"You were the one who contacted me."

"Aa." He paused to give a bitter laugh. "I suppose I thought we should clear the air, but you can't even look at me."

The other hesitated before facing him head on.

Blue met gold in a moment too short to be realised, yet long enough to crack the layers hiding the emotions within them both.

Fuji was the first to look away, brown hair falling to cover his eyes and hide him once more. Ryoma continued to look at him, watching as the older man bowed his head to examine his drink.

He wanted to reach out, force Fuji to acknowledge he was still here, but knew it was pointless. Fuji had always excelled at ignoring what he didn't want to know.

He wondered if he should feel more pain, but all he felt was tried.

Ryoma ran his hand through his hair, trying to centre himself, to find the words that needed to be said. All he could think of was the bitter recriminations of the night Fuji had left; Fuji's voice hoarse with emotion even while he couldn't bear to look at Ryoma.All he could remember was Fuji leaving when he needed him most.

"I wish I could remember a happy moment from the time we shared, but all I remember these days is the pain."

Fuji nodded, but refused to lift his eyes from his coffee.

"Syuusuke…?"

"Yes?" Fuji stopped studying his drink.

"You said forever. Why did you leave?"

Fuji stared at a point somewhere behind Ryoma's left ear, thinking.

"I just couldn't stay. It was a pain I couldn't bear." The simple words were accompanied by a graceful shrug.

"Ahh."

Ryoma felt his hands begin to tremble, and clasped them together to hide the weakness. When it was obvious no more was forthcoming, he rose from the table. It was best to leave before he totally fell apart.

"I'm sorry. I need to leave now." He lifted his hand displaying the tremors running along his arm, even though he knew it would upset the other man. "Thank you for the meeting, Fuji." He bowed low, taking the time to hide his hands again, as he was offering his gratitude. "It's unlikely that we'll ever cross paths again, but if we do, I think I'll keep walking. Thank you for your time."

Ryoma turned and began to make his way to the restaurant's exit.

"Ryoma…" Fuji's voice caused him to pause.

"I did love you."

Ryoma didn't turn, though he would have liked to see the emotion that accompanied the words.

"Goodbye Fuji."

…………………………

A month later Fuji learnt of Ryoma's funeral. He wasn't invited. He went anyway.

There were people he recognised, faces from the pages of Pro Tennis, a few reporters.Most were unknown to him.

He sat through the ceremony and listened to people talk about Ryoma's good qualities. He listened as each person described a man that only existed in their minds.

No one mentioned his stubborn, intractable will. No one spoke of his often cold, antisocial nature. No one referred to his short comings. It was as though they no longer existed.

Fuji would have spoken about them, made them remember Ryoma for who he truly was, not some perfect being to put on a pedestal, but no one would have been interested and he'd lost the right to shock them from their stupor years ago.

For all that it was a beautiful ceremony. Ryoma would have hated it.

It inspired nothing in Fuji, he was numb to everything.

He couldn't even find a single tear.

He walked out halfway through the service.

…………………………….

A week later he received a package from Ryoma. Inside were all the odds and ends he'd given Ryoma while they'd been together. They weren't big things, just trinkets meant to represent moments of shared happiness.

On top of them was a simple note.

_I forgive you._

Fuji found his tears.

X-----------X----------X-----------X----------X

Reviews appreciated. Criticisms considered. Flames ignored.

I've been told this is somewhat too subtle (…what does my little sister know?).

Anyway, this was supposed to be implying that Ryoma was dying of a terminal illness, and Fuji couldn't stand to be with him in such a condition.

If you agree with my little sister I'll try and make it clearer.

Thanks


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